So fast! I cannot believe my doll is almost 10 months now- few months shy of a year. Last evening at a hospital, I heard the wail of a newborn and it felt like just last week my doll was that small. Just a few days ago I was supporting her neck. Was it not yesterday I was overjoyed with her first smile?
How fast time has flown….
Then you tell me, “She is so thin! Don’t you feed her?”
I felt the need to be defensive, I claim she takes after her slim grandparents. I tell you how the doc says she is thriving well. Her growth is absolutely fine for her age. I don’t give you a piece of my mind. Funny, I thought I would have given anyone who said that a long lecture. I didn’t.
Because you don’t know how many nights I stayed up feeding her by the hour. You have no idea how sore each part of my body was, coping with the stress. You don’t have a clue how much I have fretted over her pees and poops, the color and frequency- all indirect evidence of adequacy of her feed. You don’t know how it breaks a mother’s heart when someone accuses her, directly or indirectly that she isn’t giving her baby the best.
I forgive you, and I thank you. You have no idea of how much your supposed smartness can give some mother some blogging material.
I look at you as you sleep in my arms. Full after a meal, content. I land you down, you stir and open your eyes, express your displeasure at being away from me. I hold you close again and you close your eyes and smile.
Someday you will be too old to sleep in my arms, you will choose your own clothes to wear. You will eat your own meals with your own hands. How time flies- seems like just a few days ago you were this wailing milk guzzling newborn. I must cherish these days. They won’t come back. I must record your smiles, giggles, wails and cries all in my mind.
You wake up…..we exchange smiles. I lift you high in the air, the way you love it. In my mind I try to record all the expressions and giggles.
And you spit in my face…….
Yes motherhood still rocks.
Dear baby N
Today you have turned exactly 150 days old. 150 days of having you in my life. 150 wonderful and happening days.
I may not have been my best all these days. Sometimes grumpy, sometimes angry…sometimes just plain tired. But always madly in love with you.
Alas its not the cozy picture of a sleepy Johnsons baby napping and a lovely looking mum kissing the baby. Its more like a howling baby who has finally slept and the zombie mom heaving a sigh of relief. Who makes these ads BTW. Nonetheless its awesome having you around..leave aside the extra fat pads and panda eyes.
I still remember the day you arrived. We were up whole night holding you… Coz you wanted to be held all night…no landing down. Obviously, you were all cozy inside least interested in meeting us. We had to do some chemical interventions to nudge you out of your peaceful aquatic habitat. We couldn’t believe that two mad creatures like us had such a lovely baby.
Then came those nights you refused to sleep and kept the whole house (except your father the gifted sleeper) up and about. Then each lovely landmark- the smile, cooing, giggles…the vaccinations, night you slept through. So many memories, so many more to make.
Stay happy always…..
Love
Mom
Its been over a year. I have neglected this small space of mine. Yet again.
To make a quick update my life has changed, for good. Now I am a proud mommy to a beautiful girl, who came in our lives this January. She been the best gift I could have asked for. Since I learnt of her entry in our lives, almost a year ago- May 23 to be precise, I have been busy dreaming, reading mom blogs, learning baby stuff, buying pregnancy books…and trying to write a anonymous pregnancy journal!
Anyway now I am back, hopefully with a bang….. Hoping to write lot more
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