I know, its been a real long time since I blogged. Mostly these days its switching on the PC, doing some work and running back to the books. Ok…I am not studying as hard as I sound I am, but how I wished….
So today, although my stipulated time online is exhausted, yet I turn the PC on again just to blog….coz I’m getting many a shocks…I need to write myself out!!
Heard from an old friend today, who tied the knot recently after a long engagement. I was very happy. Then she shared her plans to move abroad. Her hubby will join her say after a few months or an year. Will he stay alone till then? I asked. She said he will move in for a year with her parents. Uh? well since her parents (who are in their fifties, max) will be all alone. Will his mom like it I asked? Now her reply was a real shocker. She doesn’t know what his mom will feel and they are not sure how long his mom will live since she’s almost 70!!
Ok they might be having some adjustment issues or anything she doesn’t wish to share. But the reason was offerred?! Shocked the hell out of me.
We speak loudly of how mothers in law must treat their betis and bahus alike. But how about treating your husbands mother like your own? Considering that the lady is a 70 year old widow?!
Then the story of a couple we have known for a long time. They got a raw deal from their builder and to cut a long story short, have to live in a rented house. They had to move to a place much smaller than the one they have paid for and as a result, they had to junk a lot of their good strong furniture they made decades ago…with great planning, great wood…and many dreams in their eyes.
Since their son who left USA for good also stays in Mumbai, they asked him if he could accomodate their good stuff in his quarters (Which is a decently huge flat by Mumbai standards). Poor parents: the son told them “I have all Italian furniture, this won’t fit in my home. I am already claustrophobic here , now I have no room for your stuff in.”
Logical question…why do the parents need a rented place at all..they have a son to move in with! Well the son does want his mom to live with him, especially if she leaves her job (and 10 good years of service). In short, he wants an educated nanny for his daughter and a maid for his pregnant wife. And whenever the mom does stay with him to ease her bahu of work during her pregnancy, the guy has the cheek to tell her “Don’t do this, B doesn’t like that”, or “Make this stuff for her, her mother says you should make this for her”.
How I wished he was man enough to tell his wife once in a while “Let my Mom make this for you…she has been through childbearing too” or maybe “Let Ma have her way too once in a while, after all she wishes us well too, like your mom does”
5 replies on “Maas and Sasumaas……”
oddly enough i have blogged abt this quite a bit too.. seems like everywhere i look lately the m-i-l is being mistreated or just plain ignored by the daughter in laws.. i try and think that maybe i cant understand not being married yet but i still dont see how u can treat someone like that.. arent u supposed to see your own mother in them?i dunno.. but i could respect a husband who doesnt stand up for his mom.. stand up for me yes but stand up for your mom..she is your momwhat a mother\’s day
This was awesome…Families getting nuclear and all the side effects are being bore by poor parents!Mebbe money doesnt allow some1 to buy a big place to accomodate parents but guess our hearts cant be so occupied so as to not have a place for 2 people who made us into what we are today!
this situation seems to exist in a lot of families, i know …. unfortunately some are too close for comfort! Seen parents, who inspite of their sons telling them, to stay away, still live in the hope that he will get back in touch with them, and they are all ready to forgive him!!!i think its a sad state where parents can\’t even expect anything from their own kids!!!
now I see why my mom says, once u\’re off ur own I m free to go to some ashram, i\’m like what the hell, stop all these dialogues.. I HATE IT.but then maybe she\’s seen so much around her that, she and many of her friends too think the same way ke DONT EXPECT ANYTHING FROM YOUR KIDS.I BITTERLY HATE TO EVEN FACE PPL WHO CAN DO SUCH THINGS TO THEIR PARENTS. Living separately is like nowadays everyone wants their share of independence and all but then u carry some responsibilties which OUGHT TO BE FULFILLED.